Umbrage in Umbria

In which Diane Lane

plays an American woman

recovering from the pain

of a recent divorce.

 

Sandra Oh will feature

As her quirky  sidekick,

Tonto to Diane’s Lone Ranger.

 

Smoldering local love interest

will be provided by Xavier Bardem

or Antonio Banderas

neither of whom are Italian

but if you want “smoldering”

you’ve got to call in the Spanish.

 

We’ll need a Brit,

Maggie Smith, perhaps,

as a sage but ageing dowager.

 

Max Von Sydow is still alive

(I’ve just googled him)

he could be the priest

but that might be too much Swedish gloom

we need wry and twinkling.

Morgan Freeman, I’m thinking

an explanation will be needed

as to how he got there.

 

Richard Gere will appear

near the end,

as the ex-husband

rich and massively contrite

now that his bimbo has fled –

the philandering bastard.

 

And as for the umbrage

taken by whom

because of what

you’ll just have to wait for the movie.

 

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