Free Jazz 2
The saxophonist taps his foot
the trumpet player palms his mute
they sound like elephants mating
when they play free, when they play loose.
The drummer puts on his jazz face
eyes closed in ecstasy, lips pursed,
they dance on the edge of chaos
when they blow free, when they play loose.
So this another entry in response to the dVerse challenge to write a ruba’i or rubaiyat. For a description of the form , check out Frank Hubeny’s post here.
The two quatrains (which makes it a rubaiyat) have an AABA CCDC rhyming scheme, although I have avoided straight rhymes and relied on some sonic connection between the end words.
After a month of sonnets and now this, I’m getting a bit rhymed out. I’ve also been working on shoehorning another song lyric into sonnet form on the basis that sonnet means “little song”. It’s not working. I think it’s time to return to the relative chaos of free verse.
Nice description of them: “they sound like elephants mating”
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Thanks, Frank!
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Pingback: Many Ruba’i – Jazz | petrujviljoen
I think the loose rhymes work well here. and more great art! (K)
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Thank you, much appreciated!
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I love the jazzy feel (to match the subject matter) and the fun of this.
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Thank you, much appreciated!
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This was fun to read… the elephants mating… love that you “recycled” the final line in the two stanzas.
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Loved the freedom and energy in this piece Jim! I love jazz, and I have personally watched the essence of your poem played out on a small stage, in a basement club, tight tables, close to the stage, the clink of glasses the tumble of ice. You put me at the table in the second cluster, stage right with this. Very very cool, I liked it… 🙂
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the jazz vibe reverberates freely in your poem
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