Indignatron B (as seen on TV)
Are you feeling indignant?
Do you feel the urge to rant?
Are you sick of the city, the government
sycophants, dilettantes, the cant;
are you bitter about the glitterati
the literati, the witeratti, the getfiteratti
that tosser on your street
with the Maserati or is it a Bugatti
always wittering on about his colonoscopy
his digestive tract?
Relax, help is on the way,
take one Indignatron B tablet daily
and you won’t give a shit about all that.
Warning:
Some users of Indignatron B have become so unbearably pleasant, that their friends can’t stand them anymore.
Do not mix Indignatron B with alcohol, some users, who have, experienced such a feeling of intense happiness that all they could think about was doing it again.
This is a post from back in February, thought I would revive it for Open Link Night over at dVerse.
I need a prescription, please.
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coming to a pharmacy near YOU!
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Sounds like it might make me lose my edgy, maxed-out-B.S.-meter, getoutamyface, sweetness. Might cause me to salvage my career or win friends. Risky drug you’re selling here. Oh, and why does that giant bird have an antenna coming out of the top of his head?
(Great poem, though!)
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Consult your doctor before using! You know, I hadn’t noticed the antenna before….hmmmm
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The bird is sneering at me, because it lives in a palatial residence and drives a different imported Italian sports car every day of the week. From the last line, I am assuming that your remedy causes constipation. In any case, perhaps having a laugh is as good as your pill, thank you Jim.
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Yes, Steve, constipation is an unfortunate side effect which begs the question : Is it possible to be constipated and happy at the same time?
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Well … there is a well-known class of recreational drugs that tend to do that. Cue: The Stranglers.
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Nice lines: “are you bitter about the glitterati
the literati, the witeratti, the getfiteratti”
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Thank you Frank!
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This is one that demands to be read out loud. It’s funny.
I spend a lot of time in my day job explaining that Indignatron B does not exist.
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Ha! Thanks Sarah…there is obviously a need!
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Sarah’s right, this poem begs to be read aloud – and in a particularly indignant voice. It left me giggling and now I feel intensely happy – it’s only just nine o’clock in the morning. Thank you Indignatron B, I’ll recommend it to all my friends!
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Spread the word!
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I think I saw the commercial for it. Is that the one with the speed-reader at the end with the teeny tiny fine print?
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Exactly….all those side effects!
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Ah this is absolutely brilliant! I really hope the chaos in our world comes to a halt ❤️
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Thank you!
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This is excellent!. A solid write. Well done Jim!
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Thanks Rob!
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Fun stuff! I love all the “atti’s”.
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It’s all about atti -tude! Ouch!
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I prefer to be edgy and bitter… this sounds like something the government would prescribe, a lot cheaper than the usual bread and circuses.
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Indeed!
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