Thinking of it now, truth to tell
I should have said goodnight, turned out the light
I should never have started this villanelle
now I am stuck in verse form hell
everything I write seems totally trite
thinking of it now, truth to tell
I can check out but I can’t leave this hotel
(the Eagles, you get the reference, right?)
I should never have started this villanelle
mission bell, tinker bell, death knell
I’ve started to write total shite
thinking of it now, truth to tell
I have to get off this carousel
it’s been a struggle, it’s been a fight
I should never have started this villanelle
I need another word that rhymes with ‘elle’
final quatrain, the pain, the urge to yell;
thinking of it now, truth to tell
I should never have started this villanelle
Ha…so this all started about a week ago with a challenge on dVerse to write a poem using a verse form that incorporated repetition. I posted 3 poems that were essentially chants but I felt that this was a cop out so I decided to write a villanelle. That was a mistake, that’s all I worked on all week. I felt like I was in a creative straight jacket, that I was wearing one of those ankle bracelets that would alarm if I tried to escape the villanelle. It didn’t help that I got half way through one attempt before I realised that I had the wrong structure, the wrong rhyming scheme.
That poem was built around two lines:
a villain in a villanelle
a doomed lover in a sonnet
It will never see the light of day.
Of form and free verse……..
Free Verse
free verse, let
it roam, far
from all rhyme
and reason
The irony is that this short poem actually has a form – 4 lines, 3 syllables per line. It’s called slim verse. It was invented by my friend, Slim Volume, and I. Of course Slim Volume is not his real name; he used to play in a punk band, The Working Stiffs, and that was his stage name, not that they appeared on many stages. You may remember their seminal album, ‘ Anger and Acne’, but you probably don’t. My all time favorite stage name belongs to the bass player in the Boomtown Rats, Pete Briquette. You’d have to be Irish to get it…..peat briquettes were used as a substitute for coal in open fires. Where was I…oh yes..slim verse..this was meant to be a form designed for the attention span of internet users, problem is I got tired of its limitations. We were churning out aphorisms not poems. We don’t talk about it much anymore, too painful.
…taking part in Open Link night over at dVerse, check them out, well worth the visit!
When you get bogged down in form poetry tends to lose its shine. You did a fine job!
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Thank you, much appreciated!
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Form or not, when it sings, it sings…
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Too true!
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Love this! That’s a great villanelle. 🙂
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Thank you, much appreciated !
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First, I enjoyed the wit and gentle sarcasm… writing form poetry is not where my heart lies either Jim, but you did it, so now it’s done, to never need be done again. I really enjoyed reading this, especially the fourth verse… ;-/)
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Thanks Rob, it was a journey!
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I love this – so irreverent, and yet it works.
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Thanks VJ, fortunately only one verse form was harmed in the making of this post!
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Lol – love your perspective.
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Sometimes inspiration comes the strangest places!
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Yes indeed!
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This is so witty and to think, I also wrote a villanelle..ha..ha…
Love this part of the carousel of words:
I have to get off this carousel
it’s been a struggle, it’s been a fight
I should never have started this villanelle
Thank you for smiles!!!
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Ah but your villanelle was actual poetry! 🙂
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Tipping my glass to you. Cheers!
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Thank you, much appreciated!
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Ha.. but you (almost) made it… hope you got some sleep in the end.
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Thanks, Bjorn!
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Thank you, for the humorous end to the week, before the madness known, as last minute shopping grips the western world. Your villanelle brought a smile to my face, on this damp misty December day.
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Thank you, Theresa, much appreciated!
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I wish I could write shite that would delight. Thanks for this. You brightened up my Friday night.
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Ha, my pleasure, Suzanne!
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This entire post is brilliant! I take full credit for starting you on this life of incarceration if it ended this way. Move over, Dylan Thomas. The best part of this, for me, is : “a villain in a villanelle
a doomed lover in a sonnet.” There is a full parody wrapped up in that – just waiting to be set free. I sincerely hope the ankle bracelet finds you, tackles you, and ties you down to do this again!!! Bwahahaha!!!
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Thanks Jilly, and yes, it’s all your fault!! “a villain in a villanelle”…..hhhmm…
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Yes, I think you should write it – what rhymes with manacles?
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Rhymes with manacles? hmmm… schwamacles! As in manacles schwamacles!
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Nice title.
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Thank you!
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now I am stuck in verse form hell – yes the villanelle has this evil charm
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It will be a while before another!😋
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So is this s villa-nil? You made me smile again Jim. 😏
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Very enjoyable, Jim, the rhyme and rhythm worked very well, not to mention the Eagles. We leave everything, I suppose, just not the way we expect.
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Thanks Steve….it was a grind to be that disciplined!
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Thanks for that. It made me laugh.
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My pleasure, Ellen!
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This is clever and funny and I’ve been there.
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Thanks Sarah!
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Haha. I like it! Villanelles are poems from hell ~ I rather like hell! 😍
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