(the prompt from Kim over at dVerse is to write a quadrille -44 word poem- using the word “rich”)
Little Richard
Richard Penniman
Little Richard
not just any man
a pioneer of rock and roll
twelve bars and no holds barred
and all about that one thing:
Molly likes to ball
Sally has everything that Uncle John needs
Sue knows just what to do
a-wop-bop-a-loo-bop-a-wop-bam-boom.
Breakfast at Denny’s
sitting in Denny’s
Jared wonders how is ass
got to be so big
Joan, the waitress, announces
they are flat out of pancakes.
The Stats
a recent survey shows
that sixty per cent
of all statisticians
suffer from
percentile dysfunction.
A Lai for Bob
adenoidal snarl
it’s about a girl
mostly
but sometimes, the world
and how it turns, or
maybe
it’s a frantic swirl
of images, words
let fly
with venom and spite
an angry prophet
raging
but he’s more than that:
clown, joker, poet,
snide sage
in a feathered hat
an imp at sunset
dancing.
( a few notes on the form – each verse in a lai has nine lines arranged in groups of three; each group contains a couplet of 5 syllable lines and a single 2 syllable line; the rhyming pattern is aab aab aab; each verse can have different end rhymes but the pattern must be the same, for example…ccd ccd etc. I have been a bit loose with what constitutes a rhyme , so this poem is sort of lai-based, but I have tried to maintain consistency in terms of vowels and/or consonants.
For more detailed discussion on the form, check out here )
Participating in Open Link Night over at dVerse.
The Oscar of being George ( a hesitant haiku)
pride comes before a…….
without pride….one would never…
get up……off one’s arse.
Lai Ability
I must admit, my
Lai ability
is nil
no agility
no facility
but still
I gave it a try
and I have to say
Ah well……
Ah, well……the challenge over at dVerse is to write a lai or a lai nouveau. I read the rules for the lai nouveau and they are so complicated I am afraid I might vanish up my own arse if I tried one….so here’s another lai…(re the rhymes, I have tried to keep the same vowel sound in the couplet end rhymes).
Skunk
struts across the lawn
in the early dawn
tail high
sphincter primed, that gland
full of mercaptan
stands by
an insurance plan,
deterrent, demand…..
supply.
The Tight Rope Walker
After John’s hamster died
he could not tell up from down,
he became a tight rope walker
tottering grimly forward
without pole or safety net
modern medicine is just a sham
couldn’t save one damn hamster
he never acknowledged
the gravity of his situation.
The challenge over at dVerse is to write a quadrille (44 word poem), incorporating the word “up”.
The Age of Narcissus
how far we have come
twenty years ago
no one could spell narcissist.
Conveyor
I replaced a defective mechanical arm once
on the night shift at the Bird’s Eye factory
in Eastbourne, England.
The arm swept the green beans from the main chute into side conveyors
where ladies wearing hair nets
separated the good beans from the bad.
It was the top conveyor,
so I was in full view of the workers below
as I moved my arm back and forth
sweeping beans in a poor imitation of a mechanical arm.
My fellow student workers threw beans at me
and the ladies in hair nets shouted “get a move on, Paddy”;
my name isn’t ‘Paddy’
but that’s what English people called Irish people back then.
Time moved like molasses
time dragged its feet like a moody teenager
time passed like a wet Sunday in Belfast
On the way home in the early morning,
we stole milk bottles from doorsteps,
just because we could.
Taking part in Open Link Night over at dVerse, check them out here.
Of Hatches and Ports
batten down the hatches
any port in a storm;
I have to admit
storm or no storm
I have never liked port
it always seemed to me
to be a drink from a time
when men retired after dinner
to a separate room to warm their arses
at the fire, share a bottle,
and indulge in convivial chat –
the odour of old sweat rising from tweed
the ladies in the next room, discussing
what else: their husbands and their gout
Inspired by the prompt “batten down the hatches” over at Saturday Mix – Mad about Metaphor.
Faint Praise (Lai 2)
the lay of the land
a bird in the hand
stock phrase
a saint of a man
always been a fan
faint praise
something on your mind
that can’t be defined
malaise.
It’s time for another verse form over at dVerse, this one is called a “Lai”; learn all about it here.
This is my second attempt. Not sure about this one.
Small Bird
without caveat
fucks off, just like that
small bird
apropos of naught
the birch tree distraught
no word
from the bird, not yet
how soon we forget
absurd.
It’s time for another verse form over at dVerse, this one is called a “Lai”; learn all about it here.
If Robert Mueller Wrote a Tanka
Why the long face, Bob?
always that same damn question
since I was a boy,
and always the same answer:
it is long because it’s long.
Okay, just one more……
If Justin Trudeau Wrote a Haiku
I’m a feminist;
man, it’s difficult, women…
I just don’t get them.
Photo: English Bay, Vancouver, A-MAZE-ING LAUGHTER, by Yue Minjun.
Easter Monday Haiku
blue sky, scattered clouds
slow day at the pearly gates
not a soul in sight.
If Ivanka Wrote a Tanka
dawn at Camp Kushner:
wake up, my little weasel
slither forth again
and wriggle up the pant legs
of rich and powerful men.
…… a repeat, because of the day that’s in it…..
Holy Scripture
when asked to
pick a font
he replied:
baptismal.
Photo Of Baptistry, Pisa, Italy.
So Long, Halong
As we ride out of Cat Ba
through a valley circled
by limestone crags,
a compilation of pop ballads
from the seventies and eighties
oozes from the speakers
and the affable English backpackers
at the back of the bus
groan in faux horror
as Aerosmith follows Bryan Adams
follows George Michaels
follows Michael Jackson
but when the Bee Gees launch
“How Deep Is Your Love”
the backpackers quieten down
and the driver stops honking his horn
at the dogs, children, women
in cone hats and cyclists
with finely balanced cargos
who drift carelessly
in front of the bus
as if it was an invisible
visitor from the future,
and we all strain against
the tug of the song’s chorus
far too cool to sing along
except for one backpacker
let’s call him Nigel
or Christian, or Jason, or Justin
who, in a high piping voice
declares his oneness
with the song’s embattled lovers.
This poem was first published in Oddball Magazine, and is a re-post from 2016. Participating in Open Link Night over at dVerse.
If Donald Trump Wrote a Haiku
golf ball in the rough
is anybody looking?
I think I’ll move it.
If Melania Trump Wrote a Haiku
orange is the colour
of my true love’s hair,
who am I kidding?
If Angela Merkel Wrote a Haiku
Brexit, my arse,
those nincompoops!
How did we lose the war?
If Dan Brown Wrote a Haiku
a fugitive priest
a stolen chalice
old habits die hard
For a brief description of the haiku form, see here.
If Stephen King Wrote Haiku
an open door
blood on the floor
mother’s mop waits
For a brief description of the form see here
Why National Poetry Month Makes Me Anxious
It’s National Poetry Month
and all across the internet
poets are dutifully posting a poem a day,
the blogosphere is loud with words
like babble, ripple, burble, unfurl
glow, glitter, shine, glisten
winds are blowing
suns are setting
dawns are breaking
waves are crashing
on every available shore
and birds, yes, birds
are chirping, trilling, twittering, even singing
nature is under siege
but I have to admit
I’m not up to it
I don’t have the diligence, the discipline
the creative bandwidth
all I want
is to produce
just one clear image
and nail it to the page
like a proclamation.
A Simple Desultory Quadrille….
in which Chuck considers
leaving Savannah
quitting the music scene
and getting a day job
‘cos he knows that in this deck of cards
we all can’t be the ace
and if it’s time to take a fall
it’s best to fall with grace.
For more about Chuck, see here.
The challenge over at dVerse is to write a quadrille (44 word poem), incorporating the word “ace”. dVerse,
Issue #13 of Vapid Magazine will be out next week
In this issue:
Kellyanne Conway reveals how she cured her husband’s insomnia!
Melania Trump wonders out loud if there is anything in the constitution that says the White House has to be white (she’s thinking pink stucco!).
Rudy Giuliani denies that the White House is white.
Robert Mueller shares his barbecue sauce recipe (un-redacted) and talks about retiring and opening a funeral parlour
In an exclusive interview Mrs Mueller talks about life with Bob (quote: “You’re disappointed! Let me tell you about disappointment”).
Plus….we ask the question: are algorithms ruling our lives? And fail to answer it, because we have no idea what an algorithm is.
In our How To feature, Jared Kushner demonstrates how to enter a house through the clothes dryer vent. Well done, Jared!
And finally in our health section, we ask:
Is your skin getting thinner? Do you wake up in the morning and feel offended before you get out of bed?
Are you at the point where apologies just don’t do it anymore?
Ten easy to follow tips to help you thicken that epidermis (the French word for skin)!
Vapid Magazine…home of all things vapid!
The sun with rare generosity
beats down on the solar panels
on the roof of Vincent’s log cabin.
The first sentence of his organic novel
–The abattoir, for once, was silent –
sits alone on his laptop screen.
This is the seed from which will spring
plot, character, content.
He gets up, walks out through the kitchen door
through the tortured arch of his driftwood arbor
and into the vegetable garden
where he urinates in a jagged arc
sprinkling life-giving nutrients
on the unsuspecting butter lettuce.
Returning to his desk
he taps out another sentence:
With his mother’s mop, he wipes
the blood from the kitchen floor.
Why so morbid?
It’s warm, he’s feeling drowsy,
he detects a faint signal from a long-dormant source
like the distant ping from a submarine
at the bottom of the ocean.
He should invite someone for dinner,
the lady who sells jam at the Saturday market, perhaps,
or the angry sculptress – she of the tangled hair,
the scrap metal raptors, the acetylene scent.
The jam lady it is.
Bottle of wine from the retired lawyer’s vineyard,
salmon from the gnarled fishermen down at the dock,
try a little humor,
ask her if raspberry jam is a male preserve,
make a nice salad. What’s the worst that could happen?
This poem first appeared a little while back in “The Basil O’Flaherty” .
It was also published previously on this blog, thought it was worth a second look.
Taking part in open link night over at dVerse, check them out here.
