Why I have difficulty writing haiku

 

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I thought I would give this one another outing at Open Link night over at dVerse.

Why I have difficulty writing haiku

problem with haiku
definite article is
first casualty

next casualty
indefinite article
makes me sound little

like Japanese guard
in prison camp in movie
world war two movie

who for some reason
is speaking English (how? why?)
with staccato voice

or perhaps I am
po-faced guru on mountain
dispensing bromides:

crow flies at midnight
in front of luminous moon
affair ends badly

all because I am
in service to, at mercy
of, syllable count.

20 thoughts on “Why I have difficulty writing haiku

  1. Steve Simpson

    A lot of fun, Jim, well done. So many people love haiku, but for me, yes, the syllables, and it comes from a vastly different language, with different structures, accents, rhythms and music. Talk about a square peg. I do like yours though.

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  2. kim881

    Your haiku series made me smile, Jim. I love writing haiku but, as an ex English teacher, refuse to omit articles of any sort. That way I avoid sounding like a Japanese prison guard in a movie!

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  3. Grace

    A haiku is more than a syllable count. If you are too concerned about the 5-7-5 syllabic count, you missed out on the deeper spirit of haiku. It is difficult writing haiku.

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