Talking Senses (a Rubaiyat)

Leaf

Talking Senses (a Rubaiyat)

Wet whiff of sour milk
the rustle of silk
the kerang of a guitar
– the Who, or their ilk

the whirl of a dervish
the bloat of a blow-fish
the wince of a lemon
that chocolate fetish

I doubt my ability
to convey tactility
but, hey, here’s an eggshell
go on, feel the fragility.

Jilly’s challenge over at dVerse is to write a rubaiyat, using imagery that evokes all 6 senses – 1.) Visual, 2.) Tactile/Touch, 3.) Olfactory/Smell, 4.) Taste, 5.) Auditory, and 6.) Kinesthetic.

I gave it a go….I didn’t pay too much attention to syllables per line, I just went with what sounded right, but I did stick to the rhyme scheme!

15 thoughts on “Talking Senses (a Rubaiyat)”

jillys2016 February 14, 2019 at 4:56 pm

Okay – this gets points for making me laugh! You dive deep in the realm of imagery, Jim. You drew me in with that hot pink leaf and then engaged the senses and ended with a defensive little challenge; charming! Glad you gave it a dervish 😉

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Ellen Hawley February 14, 2019 at 10:47 pm

And I like the shift in tone in the last lines–“but, hey…”

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1. sdtp33 Post authorFebruary 17, 2019 at 11:03 am
  
  Thanks Ellen!
  
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sdtp33 Post authorFebruary 17, 2019 at 11:03 am

Fascinating prompt, Jilly, got my inner dervish whirling!

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sarahsouthwest February 15, 2019 at 4:37 am

Yes, that last stanza somehow adds an extra bit of pzazz. Or something. It’s cheeky and witty and the rhyming is great.

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sdtp33 Post authorFebruary 17, 2019 at 4:49 pm

Thanks Sarah! Glad you enjoyed it!

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Gina February 15, 2019 at 4:54 am

the wince of a lemon conjurs up baby’s fist taste – love that image

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sdtp33 Post authorFebruary 17, 2019 at 5:14 pm

Thank you Gina!

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Gina February 15, 2019 at 4:54 am

i meant first taste…LOL! not fist

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robtkistner February 16, 2019 at 3:02 am

Woah, shit Jim, I am having a “Seven Cities” beat club “prime flashback” reading your poetry tonight. Man, there is a small piano jazz trio, with a horn man sittin’ blowin’ – and there’s my friend Jim Feeney up there layin’ his verse on me, and draggin his panda aroud, and I am high on the whole sceen! I mean, it is so cool, it’s HOT, I love what Imam reading tonight., rage on jimmy!

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sdtp33 Post authorFebruary 17, 2019 at 5:18 pm

Thank you Rob…that’s probably one of the best responses I have had to a poem…..pleases me no end….much appreciated…JIM

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