Tales from the Gym (Gravity, Don’t Fail Me Now)

 

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And your gravity fails and negativity don’t pull you through….Bob Dylan

On March 16, all community center gyms closed down in Vancouver, drastically altering my fitness level. This is the first in a series of gymcentric  poems, looking back at a different time (3 months ago!). As that great gymgnostic , Slim Volume, once said; “Know your gym”.

Gravity, Don’t Fail Me Now.

two geezers
pink and steaming
towelling down
after a shower
discussing gravity
how it is not fixed
how it decreases
with distance from the earth’s core
how, if one was to climb to the top of Everest,
since weight is the product of mass and gravity,
one would weigh less at the top of Everest
and I’m thinking
this is one fucking erudite conversation
and I want a piece of it
so I point out that
one would regain that weight
on returning to sea level
and one of the geezers replies
yeah but you’d probably burn 10,000 calories
climbing up and down the fucking mountain
and a nearby jock encased in breathable fabric
says, shit, I’d burn that in 40 minutes on the rowing machine
and I fire back wryly
keep telling yourself that
and the locker room erupts in laughter
and in that moment
basking in the unbearable lightness of banter
I defy gravity and levitate
above the bacterial swamp
that is the locker room floor.

 

Taking part in open link night over at dverse 

OpenLinkNight #268

20 thoughts on “Tales from the Gym (Gravity, Don’t Fail Me Now)

  1. rothpoetry

    Seems the older we get the more we battle the bulge. It tends to settle so nicely in the recliner. Covid-19 is going to bring gravity calling big time! Your story made me smile I envision the picture in my mind!

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    Reply
  2. Helen Dehner

    So many great lines!!! ‘basking in the unbearable lightness of banter’ made me laugh out loud. And I appreciate you used Bob Dylan’s quote … just read the spectacular article about him in the NY Times.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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