Golf, Flying Saucers and The Planet Odd

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Golf, Flying Saucers and The Planet Odd

The end of the world has come and gone
but you remain standing on the eighteenth tee
feeling the gravitational pull of the Planet Odd
there’s no smoke without mirrors, you remark
and looking down you notice that you’re still wearing
a green polo shirt
your favorite plaid shorts
and your faded white golf shoes.
Golf is the only sport that requires blandness of its heroes
you think
and then you think …where is this shit coming from
and shouldn’t that be “demands blandness”?
There’s a low hum, you look up,
a large flying saucer hovers over the trees
to the left of the fairway
on top of the saucer is a giant inverted tea cup
complete with handle
a door opens in the side of the cup
and you’re sucked up, through the door
and into a room that looks remarkably like
the original Star Trek control room.
A guy who looks like Leonard Nimoy
walks over and says:

“How’s it going?
We’re from the Planet Odd or to be more formal, Earth 2.
You see, the Creator royally fucked up his first attempt
so we are the newer model, the second attempt.
Still a few things to work out, but we’re not doing badly at all.
We have created some illusions to make you feel at home,
but first things first , amigo.
Can I call you amigo?”
You nod.
“First things first, amigo, let’s get rid of those plaid shorts!”

Taking part in Open Link over at dverse.

This poem was inspired by a challenge from Brendan over at Desperate Poets :

“Here’s the challenge: Start with two oracles. You can follow my lead and use The Aenead as one source if you have a copy, but any classic text will do — the Bible, Shakespeare, a volume of your favorite poet or one on Native American myth, whatever. Open the book blind and let your finger fall where it may on the page and write down whatever lines you struck on. Or deal a Tarot card or iChing hexagram. If you don’t have any such tools at home, there’s a random Tarot card generator at https://randomtarotcard.com/. You can try an AI version of the Delphic oracle at < https://delphi.allenai.org/&gt; and there’s an I Ching hexagram generator at https://www.eclecticenergies.com/iching/virtualcoins.

Next, cast a more self-referential oracle from something you created, a poem or journal or dream. Source a few lines in the same accidental manner.”

So I went to my book shelf , picked a book – “Daddy, Daddy” by Paul Durcan, opened a page and let my finger fall on the two lines that start the poem above. I then went to “Notes” on my IPhone which is where I record random lines, sayings, thoughts and found “the gravitaional pull of Planet Odd” and “there’s no smoke without mirrors” and I took it from there. Lots of fun, thanks Brendan!

(the Paul Durcan poem that provides the first two lines is called : The Martyrdom of Saint Sebastian.)

23 thoughts on “Golf, Flying Saucers and The Planet Odd”

  1. brendan563's avatarbrendan563

    What a desperately odd and perfectly apt oracular deciphering here! It will take an alien species to perfect humanity by going Odd — and losing the plaid shorts. Reminds me of a photo in the news a few years back of golfers putting on the rim of a wildfire. Such is our illusion. Thanks for giving an odd challenge a try – B

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  3. Sherry Marr's avatarSherry Marr

    Jim, I dont know what I love more, the Planet Odd or the teacup on top of the flying saucer. About even, I think. This is such an entertaining poem, a relief from all that lives in my mind. Smiles. Had to smile about the shorts. Though I think the Creator created a magnificent planet, it is we who royally screwed it up.

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  4. Truedessa's avatarTruedessa

    It’s amazing where the oracles took you and so much to ponder. The reference to planet odd made laugh a bit as our planet earth gets odder each day. Maybe, it just us humans who are an odd bunch. Always looking for a hole in one but, off hitting into the rough.

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  7. fireblossom32's avatarfireblossom32

    What a stitch! Golf would be much better if flying saucers interrupted periodically. I loved this. So weird, so clever, so deliciously absurd.

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  8. sanaarizvi's avatarsanaarizvi

    This poem deserves a standing ovation! I especially love this part;

    “There’s a low hum, you look up,
    a large flying saucer hovers over the trees
    to the left of the fairway
    on top of the saucer is a giant inverted tea cup
    complete with handle
    a door opens in the side of the cup
    and you’re sucked up, through the door
    and into a room that looks remarkably like
    the original Star Trek control room.”

    ❤️❤️❤️

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