It’s Open Link night over at dVerse, so I thought I would link this post from a few days ago, mainly because the subject matter of the poem – sport and the level of discourse associated with it – is somewhat neglected in the world of poetry. When you read the poem you may conclude that that is actually a good thing.
The Beautiful Game
Me and the lads are warming up
for our Sunday morning kickabout,
the weather’s not so good:
a black cloud loiters over head
spitting occasionally;
there’s a chill in the air.
Not that we care.
We are here for that moment of magic:
those three short passes
that raise life above the ordinary.
It’s all going well.
We’re stretching, squatting
sprinting, jogging, popping
Esther and Abi*
when up steps Paul
all sanctimonious-like
and starts to rattle on
about how this is a family park
and we should watch our language
and surely we can play a game of football
without accusing each other of onanism.
The lads are confused, gobsmacked even.
My face adopts an expression
which would later be described as quizzical
Onanism, I inquire,
what on earth is that wanker talking about?
*Esther and Abi (Ofarim): rhyming slang for ibuprofen, a popular anti-inflammatory. Esther and Abi Ofarim, an Israeli singing duo, had a hit with “Cinderella Rockefella” in 1968.
This is great dad! I can just imagine the scene of it all
Sent from my iPhone
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Thanks Sinead!
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Very much enjoying the Renaissance Lads, Jim. I was discussing Medieval religious art last Sunday, and learned that some of them tried to break out of the mold. I forget who, as usual, but one artist who was offered a commission said (paraphrasing) “Oh no, not freaking hell again, everyone wants paintings of hell.”
PS I’m jealous. With my daughter, I console myself biblically: not being accepted in one’s own land etc.
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Thanks Steve, yep medieval religious art can get a tad boring. Modern art is more my thing. There’s one more Lads poem waiting, then I think that might be enough! Don’t worry, your daughter will soon recognise your genius!!
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My pleasure, Jim. If my daughter ever does, I’ll be terrified: it will mean she’s decided I’m old enough that she has to humour me. 😸
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Quite an interesting scene here !
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Thank you!
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Ah yes, I can picture the scene perfectly! ❤️
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Thank you!
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Good for you to have that group of guys for Sunday morning kickabout. Watch your language, indeed, smiles.
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yes, being Vancouver it’s a pretty diverse group of nationalities, lots of fun,
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Taking notes. Learn something new everyday, I do. 🙂 I could hear the voices (the ones in your poem… the ones in my head were still for once).
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Thanks for taking note, Charley, this poem was all about finding a particular voice to relate the story!
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Made me laugh! This could easily develop into a short story or novel. Not that the imagery in the poem wasn’t enough. A vignette.
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Thank you, much appreciated.
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You’ve reminded me of my dad, Jim, who was a referee and also trained a local team for years. When I was younger, sometimes I’d go with him, join in the warm-ups and learn a few choice words – especially when there were black clouds and the occasional spit of rain! The final lines made me chuckle.
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Your dad is a brave man to take on refereeing! At the level I play, there’s a lot of talking!
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That last line made me grin… not a huge sports fan myself, though I would prefer the playing to the watching… I agree it’s not a popular topic, but not unheard of…
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Maybe an idea for a future dVerse challenge…write a sports related poem!
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ok, I am going to replicate Bjorn’s comment with a careful switch of words and see what follows… here goes…
“That last line made me grin… not a huge onanism fan myself, though I would prefer the playing to the watching… I agree, it’s not a popular topic, but not unheard of.;..”
ok, enough of that, This poem was sooo funny, pitch perfect Jim.
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Thanks Lona, it was all about finding the right voice and attitude (for better or for worse!)
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My son and my daughter are both avid soccer (as we call it here) players, it is an extraordinary game, and I have so much enjoyed seeing life raised above ordinary when they play. My son is a defender, I will always remember the time in 8th grade when he had a sharp tackle and requisition and as he dribbled off I heard him tell his opponent wryly to “just stay down.” My daughter May be one of the best keepers in our region, short and demure, but in the box she regards every encroachment into her temple as an affront to cosmic justice and her own personal integrity, it is so much fun. You set the stage, again pitch perfect. I am a swimmer and hiker, more solitary, but I love the sublimated war of the beautiful game.
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Tell your son that the intelligent players play in defence! (That’s obviously where I play!)
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I agree! I’all tell him!
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When you play, you are in your own self-contained world…and why should anyone want to break the spell?
I don’t know about soccer, but baseball has inspired a number of poems, especially haiku. I’ve written some myself. (K)
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Thanks for dropping by…will check out your haikus
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Here they are
https://methodtwomadness.wordpress.com/?s=baseball
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Perhaps we do need more of the beautiful game as you express the fun, humour and conflicts that can happen when playing in the park. It builds up well and I like the use of short lines.
Am surrounded by soccer affionados here in Spain and when I visit my granddaughter in Manchester. True Man United fans as born in the city!
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Thank you! Man U fan myself!
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Oh, that’s cleverly funny! I do like your Lads poems.
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