Foraging with Farage (The Boris Trilogy Part 3)

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Foraging with Farage

In his new television series
Foraging with Farage
coming soon to The Bollocks Network
Nigel laments
the influx of foreign fungi
to the hallowed fields and forests
of the Kingdom By The Sea
and the subsequent decline
of the Great English Mushroom.

In the final episode,
under the influence of psilocybin
Nigel takes a walk in the forest
and encounters a naked Boris Johnson
sitting on a giant toad stool
in a sunlit glade.
Boris, Nigel exclaims,
full of chagrin
and psilocybin,
I thought you were a natural blonde!
Has it all been a lie?
This is dream sequence, you fool,
Boris replies
The writers have run out of ideas.
He then tumbles off the toad stool
and bounds on all fours into the forest.
I tell you folks
if you miss one television series this year
make sure it’s this one!

This is, mercifully, the last poem in the Boris Trilogy. I am also responding to Brendan’s prompt over at earthweal , in which he invites us among other things to Appoint a Lord of Misrule, to conjure up a Feast of Fools. I believe this last four years will be remembered as the era in which the court jesters replaced the king, Donald Trump and Boris Johnson are prime examples. Nigel Farage, on the other hand..well, the less said the better.

12 thoughts on “Foraging with Farage (The Boris Trilogy Part 3)

  1. Sherry Marr

    I love him toppling off his toadstool and lumbering on all fours into the forest. Grinned the whole way through this poem. Here on the West Coast, we have toadstools with bright red heads and white spots much like the one pictured. A deeper red.

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  2. Ingrid

    This has given me the biggest ‘Ho Ho Ho’ of the festive season, thanks Jim. ‘Trippy’ doesn’t do it justice:
    ‘full of chagrin
    and psilocybin’
    They’d probably do better if they were…

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    Reply
  3. kim881

    Jim, you made me laugh out loud this morning! If there is one pseudo-politician I’d love to see the back of, it’s that idiot Farage, Trump’s court jester and Johnson’s sometimes-nemesis. Only the Bollocks Network would host a television series with Farage. He’s welcome to eat as many mushrooms as he can stuff in his wide mouth (he reminds me so much of Mr Toad), the more toxic the better! I nearly threw up my breakfast at the image of a ‘naked Boris Johnson
    sitting on a giant toad stool / in a sunlit glade’.

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    Reply

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