
Why I have difficulty writing haiku
problem with haiku
definite article is
first casualty
next casualty
indefinite article
makes me sound little
like Japanese guard
in prison camp in movie
world war two movie
who for some reason
is speaking English (how? why?)
with staccato voice
or perhaps I am
po-faced guru on mountain
dispensing bromides:
crow flies at midnight
in front of luminous moon
affair ends badly
all because I am
in service to, at mercy
of, syllable count
here it comes again
surplus syllable flop sweat
haiku-tortured night.
Over at Desperate Poets, Shay asks :
“What subject, genre, sacred cow, or literary convention do you ache to spin until itβs dizzy? What mask do you long to pull off and drag a confession out of its wearer? What accepted wisdom do you long to expose as horsefeathers? Or perhaps you just want to set your keyboard on βstunβ and knock us over with your unexpected use of language? Come on, flout convention! Irony and all major credit cards accepted. Unreliable narrators welcome.”
This is a post from a while back but with a new verse!
This is so clever it may be the first haiku Shay likes. I REALLY enjoyed this. Grinning.
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Thanks Sherry!
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It is well known that I can’t stand haiku 9as Sherry points out), ir more accurately, “fauxku” which isn’t true haiku at all, though it follows the syllable count. Here you have lampooned such stuff as it so richly deserves.
cherry blossom falls
banana peel trips Sensei
his sandal takes flight
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Thanks Shay and I like the haiku.
to hit nail on head
one must first own a hammer
……okay that’s enough
THanks for the prompt…JIM
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Love this Jim!
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Thanks Kim!
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Funny take. I was curious to see how Shay responded too. Faux Ku Too π
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Ah yes, the tortured syllable count! I like haiku when it has a hidden punch. Actually, the prison camp has promise. Not bad.
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Thanks Yvonne.
Btw having some difficulty posting comments on your site so apologies but I liked your piece on women and pants ! JIM
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Definitely aced it with this one, Jim. Every little syllable-tortured stanza is rich and ripe with satire and skill. True haiku is a thing of beauty(if to my mind, not comfortable to slip into) but the craze to play with it like a sad baby animal trapped by ten-year olds is perhaps the worst influence ever to enter Western poetry. Good stuff.
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Thanks Joy! Much appreciated!
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This is just wonderful, Jim! I especially love how literally you took Shay’s instructions! Brilliant π
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Thanks Sunra, much appreciated.
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Yep, great job Jim. Haiku may only be a tortured bunny on Western me-addled tongues, but you write them well taking aim at us.
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