Faint Praise (Lai 2)
the lay of the land
a bird in the hand
stock phrase
a saint of a man
always been a fan
faint praise
something on your mind
that can’t be defined
malaise.
It’s time for another verse form over at dVerse, this one is called a “Lai”; learn all about it here.
This is my second attempt. Not sure about this one.
Stopdraggingthepanda 
Now I’m inspired to perhaps try another. This is immensely clever … and deserves more than faint praise!!
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Thanks Beverly…it’s an intriguing form…simple but with constraints, kind of like a tanka with a rhyme scheme!
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This was a very intriguing one… I think the trick is to use the short lines for humorous turns… and that works well.
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Maybe it’s because although they have the right number of syllables the lines don’t flow as well as in your first attempt. It’s the stress thing.
Just a nudge, but I think all the long lines are supposed to have the same rhyme, not just the couplets. That’s what makes it so bloody difficult!
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Hi Jane, thanks for the feedback, much appreciated. Just a note re the rhyme scheme, I’m aware that the long lines all have to have the same end rhyme. I was attempting to use slant rhyme as per Grace’s recent post ….land, man, mind… although I admit “define” is stretching it a bit!😋
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Ah, I missed that. Me and the concept of ‘slant’ rhymes don’t get on. Just my personal feeling about them, but I don’t hear the rhyme most of the time 🙂
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Fascinating. Really liked the tone and depth mixed with folly
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Thank you!
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I specially like this line: a saint of a man.
I thought this was a good attempt, knowing that the form is a challenge.Thanks for joining in.
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My pleasure!
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Nice lines: “always been a fan
faint praise”
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Thanks Frank!
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