Tag Archives: donald trump

Could AI write a Novel

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A more relevant question would be : Could AI write a good novel? And the answer would be: Probably not!

Novels aside, I have always wanted to draw cartoons but I don’t have the drawing skills so when WordPress added the ability to generate images using AI, I thought this is my chance. A fat chance it turned out to be . The instruction I gave for the image above was AI writing a novel. Hard to tell what that robot is doing but it has some pencils nearby in a cup, one has an eraser, very old school!

For a recent post, which I have since deleted, I put in an instruction to generate an image of Donald Trump leading a flock of sheep off a cliff. This what AI generated:

Not bad but Donald appears to be leading the sheep away from the cliff’s edge and what is that sheep’s head doing on Donald’s lapel? And that electrical pole in the background, is it connected to anything?

So I tried keeping it simple and just wrote “sycophants” as an instruction. These folk turned up:

I don’t know…is it a birthday party?

So I tried the opening line of my favourite joke….A giraffe walks into a bar…

Well that’s a little better, it’s a giraffe and a bar. Of course you all know the punchline.

AI can generate the obvious but can it create humour? To use a music analogy, AI is the equivalent of a cover band, it can at best produce a copy of what has gone before. But can it take what has gone before, throw it up in the air and create something original?

I for one…….

Anderson Cooper’s Hair (in this ever changing world)

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Anderson Cooper’s Hair

There’s something comforting
about Anderson Cooper’s hair
its quietude
its insouciance
its unabashed whiteness
no Clooney dusting of grey
no Pavarotti boot polish black
just plain white
lightly cropped
a hint of a comb over, maybe
but that’s ok
and it does not move
a Midwest tornado
vile invective
a blast of foul air
from the president’s mouth
nothing moves Anderson Cooper’s hair;
to misquote Paul McCartney
and triple down on a preposition
in this ever changing world
in which we live in,
there’s something
comforting about that.

Go Fly a Kite (The Loin King))

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Go Fly a Kite

blatant weather
so unashamedly spring
cherry blossoms striking iPhone poses
the sun making promises
it cannot possibly keep

on Easter Sunday
while the churchgoing are going to church
we vote in the federal election

on Easter Monday
after giving Jesus his day
Pope Francis shuffles quietly off the mortal
and leaves us to talk of tariffs, annexation

I look north to the snow-capped peaks
and the wilderness beyond
and I think
we could mount a resistance from there
if it comes to it
if it comes to it

lately, the phrase
that could never happen
seems impossibly naïve

I submit a version of this poem
to Poets Respond at Rattle Magazine
and get a form rejection
but I understand
they receive so many submissions
and they are so polite

meanwhile to the south
the behemoth awakens
a faint, melancholy stirring in his loins
he remembers that he was once the Loin King
and now he’s just the king of all that he destroys
and it doesn’t seem like enough.

Taking part in Open Link over at dverse.

The Sheriff Of Tariffdom (Trump 2.0)

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The Sheriff Of Tariffdom

Down by Locarno Beach
two guys in camouflage pants
are repeatedly checking
underneath their parked Tesla
they check, they get back in the car
they don’t start the car
they get back out
they check underneath the car again
what could they be looking for?

Snow-capped mountains
an empty eagle’s nest
in the bare branches of a tree
is this a symbol?

Is everything a symbol?

Nope,
the eagle is down on the beach
searching for snacks in tide pools
is this a metaphor?

Is everything a metaphor?

April’s Fools Day, and to the south of us
The Sherriff of Tariffdom
The Prince of Petulance
The Toddler King
is looking for his Sharpie.

The prompt over at dverse is :

“So for this prompt our writing will be in the Open Poetry Form, otherwise known as Free Verse or Vers Libre. This is not to be regarded as an anarchic free-for -all but rather poetry set free from the uniform straight jacket.”

For more on Laura’s excellent prompt, read here.

The Man with Orange Hair (a lament)

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The Man with Orange Hair (A Lament)

Wiffle, waffle, wombat ways
These are the very worst of days.
Beware, beware, beware, beware
Beware the man with orange hair.

Grickle, grackle, grunt and grumble
Sit and watch the markets tumble
The threat of war is everywhere
Beware the man with orange hair

Trump, Rubio, Vance and Musk
It’s enough to make an angel cuss
Protest, protest if you dare
Beware the man with orange hair.

The prompt over at dverse is:

“Writing challenge: Write a complaint using the poetry form made popular by William Dunbar, Lament for the Makers. Your theme is your own, be it unrequited love or a satirical poem on the injustice of the world.“

Dispatch from La Costa Gringa

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Dispatch from La Costa Gringa

A baby’s soother in the sand
plastic nipple blackening
in the Mexican sun.

Tequila on the rocks
Iguanas on the rocks
A girl with a falcon
by the breakfast buffet.

Down here on La Costa Gringa
it’s still Margaritaville
but no one I see is wasting away
and no one, absolutely no one
wants to talk politics.

In the markets though
they’re selling t shirts
saying Canada and Mexico
are not for sale.

A gay couple from San Francisco
get married on the beach.
Why does this seem threatened?
Why does everything seem threatened?

And to the north of us
a president out of an abandoned Vonnegut novel
is making friends with enemies
making enemies out of friends.

Taking part in Open Link over at dverse.

Donald Trump Renames The Canada Goose

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Donald Trump announced today that the Canada Goose (Branta canadensis) will from now on be called the America Goose (Goosaurus Americanus). He says that Canada has been stealing American birds for too long and now it’s payback time!

Wait…..this just in….Donald has now banned the use of Latin to name animals, plants and flowers. He says “For too long , we have kowtowed to the Romans, but no more, from now on the only empire is the American Empire!”

If you’re reading this message I recommend you join TOT, Turn Off Trump. You’ll find that both your mental health and your relationship with the truth will vastly improve (clinical studies have shown).

The Editor, Vapid Magazine

Muskerberg and The Toddler King

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Muskerberg and The Toddler King

The rough beast is leaving Bethlehem
Musk Ox and Meta Morf
joined at the hip
their android stares
fixed on the horizon
slouching into twenty twenty five.

And all across the world
lonely men light up their lap tops
and search for unverified facts
formerly known as “lies”.

Meanwhile the Toddler King sleeps soundly
dreaming that he’s on an ice floe
off the coast of Greenland.
In the dream he owns that ice floe
and seals honk
in what he interprets to be approval.

Taking part in OpenLink over at dverse

The Second Coming of Donald

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The Second Coming of Donald

The rumors started just after he won the election
strange happenings at his rallies
the blind seeing
the deaf hearing
the lame walking
the mute talking
he began to take credit for the sun coming up.

Then those stories out of Mar A Lago
how at one banquet
he turned bread rolls into fried chicken
and at another
he turned water into Coca Cola
then there was the time
he walked across a pond
to retrieve his golf ball
and fishing..
don’t talk to me about fishing
the people of Florida
are lining up to go fishing with Donald.

Musk and Ramaswamy (Department Of Giant Egos)

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Musk and Ramaswamy
(Department Of Giant Egos)

This just in from the Dow (Department of Wordplay).
Lately I’m seeing anagrams everywhere

DOGE
E god
E dog

Elon
NoEl , NoEl
LEon

Leon Musk and the Musk Rats

Tesla
stale
stale Musk
Musk Oil
Apply daily to improve your efficiency
but not your dance moves

and then there’s Ramaswamy
almost an anagram for
“warm yams”
almost but not quite
Vivek…sur le K vive?

how about
yr mama saw?

Nope it’s not happening
he’s outta here

Besides there’s only room for one giant ego in any department anywhere
yes look out Donald Don Lad
Elon is a LonE Musketeer.

Taking part in Open Link over at dverse.

Does Anyone Remember Reince Priebus?

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This poem was written back in the first reign of King Donald and now that he is naming a new collection of fall guys I thought it would be worth one more revival.

The Fallen 

Today I thought about Reince Priebus
not so much the man,
more the strange music of his name;
those slender vowels reversing
that echo of wince
the possible meanings
a salve, an ointment
put some Reince on that cut, son;
the Latinate portliness of Priebus
a writ to slap someone with – Habeas Priebus
a complicated skateboard manoeuvre
he executed a perfect reverse Priebus;
then I thought of Anthony, dear Anthony,
Scaramucci, Scaramucci
will you do the fandango,
you were not long with us
but still the smell of aftershave lingers
and it was you who let us know
about Steve Bannon’s auto fellatio,
alas, poor Steve
abandoned on the side of the road
like a rumpled sofa
a rumpled sofa smelling of yesterday’s sweat
and stale doctrine;
and what about Spicer and Huckabee
cartoon characters
Plucky and Angry
your souls will be in the repair shop
for some time to come.
They appear in waves,
the arrested –
Flynn, Cohen and Stone,
the ones who once were serious people –
McMaster, Kelly, Bolton.
In years to come when men and women gather
to talk of greatness
your names will be long forgotten.
The list of the fallen goes on and on

and now against all odds
another crew is climbing aboard Starship Donald.

A different version of this poem appeared in Oddball Magazine

Will Trumpty Get Back on the Wall?

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Will Trumpty Get Back on the Wall?

Will Trumpty, will Trumpty
get back on the wall?
Less than 3 months to go
and it’s too close to call.

There are those who know
he’s a felon, a fake
but others just like
the noises he makes.

The grunts , the growls
of the alpha male
the postures, the pouting
the lies and tall tales.

Taking part in OpenLink over a dverse.

The Dryer Vent Invasion (Again)

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The Dryer Vent Invasion

Last night I dreamt
that Jared Kushner and Stephen Miller
had entered my basement
through the dryer vent,
maybe “entered” is the wrong word
it was more an “insinuation”,
a slithering, under the vent flap
down the plastic vent hose
and into the dryer drum
where they paused briefly
to cough up some lint
before pushing open the dryer door
and oozing out onto the basement floor.

In the morning I went down to check the basement
feeling more than a little anxious.
it was empty, nothing had changed.
I sensed movement
out of the corner of my right eye
I turned, but there was no one there.
I sensed movement
out of the corner of my left eye
I turned, again there was no one there
but there was a smell
not the usual one, from that sock
abandoned at the bottom of my gym bag
this was rancid, pungent, acrid, fetid, halitotic
with a hint of damp weasel…….
the smell of venal ambition.

Jared is back in the news again, so I thought I would give this one another run.

Mitch McConnell looks back one more time before the ship sails off

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Mitch McConnell looks back one more time before the ship sails off

Mitch stares in from the murky depths
an oxygen tank strapped to his back,
his lugubrious visage
fills the porthole
he removes his oxygen mask
a bubble escapes from his mouth
and floats upwards
his wattles sway like kelp
in the shifting currents
he has the detached look
of a man examining a museum exhibit
another bubble escapes upwards
he turns and kicks for the surface
his sagging buttocks
pale but somehow luminous

Donald Trump enters The Kingdom of Heaven

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Luke 18:25 : “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God”

Donald Trump enters The Kingdom of Heaven

This is how I’m going to do it, folks,
I’ll build a giant needle,
the biggest, shiniest, pointiest needle
that you have ever seen.
This needle will be so pointy, folks.
Then I’ll get a camel
from Egypt or somewhere like that.
Get the irony ,
me buying a camel.
See, I can do irony
I can be so ironic.
I’ll mount that camel
using my gold escalator,
and ride it
right through the eye of the needle
into the kingdom of heaven
and when I get there, folks,
when I get there
I’m going to make some changes.
Those angels…….
Sitting around on clouds playing harps
for eternity? Give me a break!
Eternity is a long time, folks,
eternity is the longest time….
anyway, where was I..right
those angels are gone, history, outta there
who needs them?
Then I’ll sit down with God
the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.
well maybe not the Holy Ghost,
what is he anyway…a dove? A ghost?
That’s it folks no more Holy Ghost.
Gone, history, outta there.
Who needs him?
Another thing, folks
who’s actually in charge?
Is it the Father or the Son?
Has to be the Father,
can’t let your children run things.
So I’ll sit down with God the Father, folks
and together
we’ll make Heaven great again!

Taking part in Openlink over at dverse.

The Ogre at the Gates of Democracy (with added commentary)

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The Ogre at the Gates of Democracy

The Ogre is at the Gates of Democracy
and we….. we are trembling on the ramparts,
armed with water pistols and toy rifles,
back in the castle
our jesters jest
our jesters taunt
our bards sing songs of ridicule
but no one’s fooled.

The Ogre lowers his orange head
and charges once more
behind him the assembled hordes froth and roar
froth and roar
behind him the assembled hordes
froth and roar.

Well, that was all a bit melodramatic, wasn’t it? On the other hand…….. this month The Atlantic magazine devoted a whole issue to the question ” If Trump Wins”; 24 articles in all, predicting the effect of a Trump victory on everything from NATO to anxiety. In addition there’s an essay by Tim Alberta on The Church of America (My father, my faith and Donald Trump). It’s worth buying the magazine for that essay alone, that is if you want to know why White Christian America would embrace a sinner like Trump.

But what got me most about the articles and essays, despite the erudition, insightfulness and eloquence, was that it all seemed like a collective throwing up of the hands; a feeling of despair, failure and powerlessness . I know journalists love a narrative but come on now……and then I thought of Amy Klobuchar who, when in a CNN interview prior to the last election, was asked what she was going to do about the limited number of polling stations in known Democratic Party areas in her state, said that they had it covered, they were organizing buses, rides, they would get people to the polls. In other words, they were organizing, taking action. Analysis can only go so far.

Taking part in OpenLinkNight over at dverse.